December 28, 2017 by hallyrh
“I couldn’t have failed it, could I? How could I have failed it? It’s my second and last chance! Wait, I’m sure they’d be considerate. I mean, it’s Christmas! Maybe I can get a conditional pass? There’s still hope, right?”
“How could I have missed that paracetamol overdose?! What a monumental idiot. I just suck at life. I suck at everything. Name it, and I willsuck at it on principle.”
“But what do I need to do? Is there any way to turn this whole situation around? If I shoulder the expenses for my third take, would that help?”
- Go to absolute pieces and tear self apart. In private.
- Step outside, hang out with close friends, smile, eat, and laugh.
- Repeat till fade.
- If they send me back home, I’ll ask Ate Kath to take my bedroom in Newton Place, and then I’ll work locally for a year before trying again for a UK visa.
- If I transfer to another Trust, I’ll pack my clothes and have the rest of my things in boxes and delivered to whichever place in the UK I’ll be moving to. The closet and drawers can stay in Newton Place.
- If, by some miracle, I get to stay, then — Praise God. But praise God anyway even if the going is tough at the moment. Praise God no matter what happens! Faith is the only thing keeping me together, truth be told. Prayers are an amazing source of strength. Looking up really works wonders when everything else is going down.
So. There you go. Plans A, B, and C. Dust hands, dust pants, this too will pass.
Like that Facebook meme said, it will pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. 😌